When I was little I liked to go to Blockbuster Video and look at the poster for Inspector Gadget (1999). I think that was probably not the best movie ever but I don't really know because I haven't seen it for a long time but I did like looking at the poster and I don't remember NOT liking the movie. I also liked looking at the poster for Bicentennial Man (1999) and I do actually still love that movie. I think a robot boyfriend could be ideal for some people but I won't spoil the plot. I also liked looking at the cover of Father of the Bride (1991) but that was a VHS and not a poster. I liked that movie but I can't watch it now so I don't know if it's good but I thought Steve Martin was funny and I also thought he looked young considering he had white hair. Probably everyone in Father of the Bride eats a Standard American Diet (which we also eat in Australia and other places but that's just the name everyone knows)—which has a lot of processed food—and that's why Steve Martin is so neurotic. All the Omega 6 in the vegetable oils has made his brain inflamed and he FLIPS OUT every two seconds, which is great because I love his faces.

Don’t just ignore what I said about the Omega 6 thing (but also don’t take advice from me).

I’m wondering if my brain got inflamed but I’m not sure. I bought goat’s milk and A2 cow’s milk because they don’t have the A1 protein but maybe lactose makes you go funny and now I have a headache. That’s probably brain inflammation and I can’t remember if Steve Martin drank milk in the movie but I think someone drank orange juice which looks all healthy and like a good idea but it’s actually a no go. I drank like a litre of orange juice in a day once because someone told me it would clear my skin and I saw the devil behind me and my brother asked if I was okay and I said yes.

That’s fructose for you!

I don’t know if it was an American ad or an Australian ad pretending to be an American ad but there was an ad on TV once for Oreos and they dipped it in milk and there was a golden retriever or a (yellow) lab. I loved that ad but now I know that THAT ad is 100% brain inflammation (except for the dog/hound).

I could eat an entire packet of Oreos right now though.

I still want a golden retriever and when I was a kid I wanted one of those white American houses with a white fence. Now I don’t really care if I live in a dumpster but back then I had big dreams. I drew my dream house on a piece of printer paper and said I was an architect but I wasn’t. Our fence didn’t look that nice. The paint is all peeling off the walls at mum’s house and she won’t mind me saying that because that kind of stuff doesn’t bother her. A possum got in the other night and ate the bananas, haha!

Now the possums will have brain inflammation, no doubt!

But to go back to Father of the Bride, there’s a bit in the movie where he pulls buns out of a bag in the supermarket to save money and that behaviour is due to brain inflammation. It’s weird that nobody says this in the reviews of Father of the Bride because it’s such a big part of the plot. I hope some Father of the Bride fans will read this and think about it and stop eating vegetable oil, processed food, lactose, and orange juice.

I remember back when I used to eat processed food (frequently) I was 100% nuts. Not saying it was the food but what else would it be? Now I have an ox heart in the fridge and I don’t have to worry about getting too much iron, if you know what I mean. You might not want to eat too much iron if you’re a man though.

I also liked looking at the covers of Groundhog Day (1993) and The Little Mermaid (1989).